Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Wordless Wednesday
I was SO excited to post the pictures here and then realized that the photos are on my work computer :( I'll make up for the post tomorrow. This daily blogging is intense ;)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Day 3 and Struggling
I was just about to make my way up to bed when I remembered - I must post!
Again, I keep trying to sort my thoughts and I'm hoping that they come together soon. But for now I will only post my Favorite Beamlak Moments of the Day:
As I was dressing for work this morning I put on a purple tank top and Beamlak creeps out of bed and looks at me, "Mom you pretty today, I going to wear my purple shirt. We match!"
and then as I was just putting on my grey PJs to watch some (what I consider freaky) YoGabbaGabba B comes in the room and darts back into hers, "I going to wear my tights too, we match!" (Referring to her gray tights)
What I was hoping to post was a response to this blog post - but for some reason or another my body is begging to sleep tonight. I'm hoping to tackle it tomorrow. I enjoy, understand, and am also frustrated by the reality and limitations of the post but it certainly did catch my attention and allowed me to regain some insight into my life experiences and will be a good post to revisit as the months and years past.
Goodnight!
Again, I keep trying to sort my thoughts and I'm hoping that they come together soon. But for now I will only post my Favorite Beamlak Moments of the Day:
As I was dressing for work this morning I put on a purple tank top and Beamlak creeps out of bed and looks at me, "Mom you pretty today, I going to wear my purple shirt. We match!"
and then as I was just putting on my grey PJs to watch some (what I consider freaky) YoGabbaGabba B comes in the room and darts back into hers, "I going to wear my tights too, we match!" (Referring to her gray tights)
What I was hoping to post was a response to this blog post - but for some reason or another my body is begging to sleep tonight. I'm hoping to tackle it tomorrow. I enjoy, understand, and am also frustrated by the reality and limitations of the post but it certainly did catch my attention and allowed me to regain some insight into my life experiences and will be a good post to revisit as the months and years past.
Goodnight!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Too Many Ideas!
So I'm a bit stupefied :) I was actually trying to plan this post - I was trying to decide what I would write about. I've found that actually trying to plan a post in advance after not posting for about 5-6 months is not one of my better ideas. Too many things come to mind that I want to share - I seriously think that if I sat down with a pen right now I would be able to plan something for each day of the month and I may fill up December as well.
So I have decided to keep it simple - just today. Today was a busy day but it was fun and exciting as well. Beamlak got her first school pictures back! They are TOO cute by the way and no I don't have a scanner at my home at the moment so I haven't been able to upload it. But I'm hoping to do it at work tomorrow. She's quite adorable. I asked her on the way home today what they looked like because I was EXCITED to see them. "They okay" (with a little Ethiopian shoulder shrug). I follow up by asking if her eyes were closed in the picture and she looks right at me, "Yeah, I sleeping" (by now she couldn't hold in the grin). Little stinker! I love them!
She also had her first swim lesson - she just couldn't get to the pool fast enough tonight! She dashed to her locker, ran to the shower, and tried to sprint down the slippery steps to the pool. She had SO much fun!
She was placed in the introductory class for children 6+ with little to no swimming experience. Of course she had lots of swim time at the cabin this summer but it was always with a life jacket on - so I thought it would be best. Well she swam past all the other little swimmers immediately - it was quite cute really. They were instructed to kick across the length of the pool and within 2 seconds she was already turning back to check where everyone was - making sure she was the fastest in her group. She's a little competitive - like mother like daughter :) Any time another kiddo got anywhere close to finishing at the same time she powered up and tried to sprint as fast as she could. That's my girl! ;)
Favorite Beamlak Moments of the Day:
She woke up this morning, got dressed, and started "reading" a book, I looked at her and asked, "Are you just going to hang up here for a little while?" "Yeah," was her matter of fact reply. This is a girl who doesn't like to be alone at all in the morning and is ALWAYS in the same room with me. Great! She's getting a little more confident each day :)
Beamlak searching on my iPhone for Train's, Hey Soul Sister in the car on the way to the bus stop. Never too early for a dance party!
Little B: Mom, the lights, the color of Ethiopia. (In reference to the color of stoplights)
Me: You're right! That's cool! Go Ethiopia!
Little B: Yeah! Go Ethiopia! Cool.
So I have decided to keep it simple - just today. Today was a busy day but it was fun and exciting as well. Beamlak got her first school pictures back! They are TOO cute by the way and no I don't have a scanner at my home at the moment so I haven't been able to upload it. But I'm hoping to do it at work tomorrow. She's quite adorable. I asked her on the way home today what they looked like because I was EXCITED to see them. "They okay" (with a little Ethiopian shoulder shrug). I follow up by asking if her eyes were closed in the picture and she looks right at me, "Yeah, I sleeping" (by now she couldn't hold in the grin). Little stinker! I love them!
She also had her first swim lesson - she just couldn't get to the pool fast enough tonight! She dashed to her locker, ran to the shower, and tried to sprint down the slippery steps to the pool. She had SO much fun!
She was placed in the introductory class for children 6+ with little to no swimming experience. Of course she had lots of swim time at the cabin this summer but it was always with a life jacket on - so I thought it would be best. Well she swam past all the other little swimmers immediately - it was quite cute really. They were instructed to kick across the length of the pool and within 2 seconds she was already turning back to check where everyone was - making sure she was the fastest in her group. She's a little competitive - like mother like daughter :) Any time another kiddo got anywhere close to finishing at the same time she powered up and tried to sprint as fast as she could. That's my girl! ;)
Favorite Beamlak Moments of the Day:
She woke up this morning, got dressed, and started "reading" a book, I looked at her and asked, "Are you just going to hang up here for a little while?" "Yeah," was her matter of fact reply. This is a girl who doesn't like to be alone at all in the morning and is ALWAYS in the same room with me. Great! She's getting a little more confident each day :)
Beamlak searching on my iPhone for Train's, Hey Soul Sister in the car on the way to the bus stop. Never too early for a dance party!
Little B: Mom, the lights, the color of Ethiopia. (In reference to the color of stoplights)
Me: You're right! That's cool! Go Ethiopia!
Little B: Yeah! Go Ethiopia! Cool.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
6 months?!
OK, so I just counted on my fingers the number of months Beamlak and I have been home - I cannot believe that 6 months have flown by so fast. That's 6 months of being home! Not just 6 months since reunification - 6 months in the US. I seriously am in shock. Quite honestly it makes me feel horrible that I have not kept a journal of all the amazing experiences that we have had together in the last 6 months and 17 days we've been an official and united family.
Ironically, today is exactly 6 months since we arrived in the US. Today - the day that I finally decided to suck it up and join the November blog once-a-day thing called NoBloPoMo. The mission - to blog ONCE A DAY! I can do this. I need to do something to jump start my blogging (aka journaling). I have missed so much in not recording these first 6 months, in the capacity that I intended to, so here it goes. I'm sure most days will be boring to readers - if there are any :) but I will press on...
About my incomprehensibly beautiful daughter: I am still really at a loss for words in describing how much she has brought to my life. She continues to amaze me with her sincerely, beautiful, optimism; her conviction in right and wrong; her infectious understanding and wit; and her - simply her. She is simply amazing. There is no less corny way to put it :)
But on a more objective note. An update on Beamlak - she continues to do extremely well at pretty much everything she does ;) She LOVES school and has a tight group of 4 friends that she spends most of her time with. She continues to be a helper in class and continues to work hard. In the beginning of the year she was catching on quickly with spelling but she has begun to show some difficulty with it lately. She's really great while practicing at home with me and having fun while doing so, but she continues to have difficulty during her spelling tests. But no worries - if she continues to tackle this as she has with everything else she will catch up quite quickly. As all who know her, including her teachers, once she picks something up she runs with it! I'm also looking at what may have caused her to go backwards a little and it seems that it began exactly the same time that she began her Amharic lessons which due to scheduling difficulty are on Thursday nights and the spelling tests are on Friday. But she is LOVING her Ethiopian mentor/tutor!
While we're on the topic - her Amharic! When we first got home we were having a lot of scheduling difficulties with finding a tutor - mostly because most of the Ethio-American students are from the Twin Cities (2 1/2 hours away) and it was the summer. But once school started up again we were able to get into a set schedule - Thursdays from 5-7 pm. I was so afraid that though she could still understand everything in Amharic - we listen to music, videos, watch a school program, etc, she began not being able to communicate in it. She would be surprised that I knew words in Amharic and she no longer could think of it spontaneously. We regularly turned English books into Amharic "object" books, and there were days when she couldn't think of colors (even her favorite color, GREEN!) in Amharic. I thought my fear had been realized when, after her first lesson, Beamlak didn't speak any Amharic to her. However! by the second week's lesson she began to remember more and more and by the third she spoke almost the entire 2 hours in Amharic! I was BEYOND ecstatic! It's working! All the time spent listening to Amharic and making sure it was in the background of conversations and having her listen to it going to sleep paid off :) I'm SO excited for her and she's having a lot of fun with it. The only "requirement" for the lesson is that they spend the time communicating in Amharic. They can do anything while doing so, playing at the playground, cooking, reading stories, it doesn't matter, they just spend time talking. In a few years, it is my hope that she will begin to learn the Fidel but certainly not until she can be confident in English. I'm just SO happy! Yippie!
I suppose - I could now write forever, but then that would mean I would have 30 days to fill with nonsense :) I'll finish up for now with just a few...
Current Beamlak favorites:
Her little kisses in the morning as she crawls into bed to say, "good morning" and BIG kisses I get at bedtime
The kisses she never forgets as she's "running" out of the car to catch the bus
Her confidence in our daily routines
The way she still jumps into my arms when we're on our way upstairs for bedtime
How she will ask every night how many books we get to read tonight and be disappointed the one night a week it is only 1
quote: "Mom, tickl-ish me!"
quote: "Mom! You tickl-ish me!!"
quote: "Mom! tickl-ish me okay?"
I hope she always says it this way, I just can't bring myself to help her out with this one :)
6 months today...wow... amazing!
Ironically, today is exactly 6 months since we arrived in the US. Today - the day that I finally decided to suck it up and join the November blog once-a-day thing called NoBloPoMo. The mission - to blog ONCE A DAY! I can do this. I need to do something to jump start my blogging (aka journaling). I have missed so much in not recording these first 6 months, in the capacity that I intended to, so here it goes. I'm sure most days will be boring to readers - if there are any :) but I will press on...
About my incomprehensibly beautiful daughter: I am still really at a loss for words in describing how much she has brought to my life. She continues to amaze me with her sincerely, beautiful, optimism; her conviction in right and wrong; her infectious understanding and wit; and her - simply her. She is simply amazing. There is no less corny way to put it :)
But on a more objective note. An update on Beamlak - she continues to do extremely well at pretty much everything she does ;) She LOVES school and has a tight group of 4 friends that she spends most of her time with. She continues to be a helper in class and continues to work hard. In the beginning of the year she was catching on quickly with spelling but she has begun to show some difficulty with it lately. She's really great while practicing at home with me and having fun while doing so, but she continues to have difficulty during her spelling tests. But no worries - if she continues to tackle this as she has with everything else she will catch up quite quickly. As all who know her, including her teachers, once she picks something up she runs with it! I'm also looking at what may have caused her to go backwards a little and it seems that it began exactly the same time that she began her Amharic lessons which due to scheduling difficulty are on Thursday nights and the spelling tests are on Friday. But she is LOVING her Ethiopian mentor/tutor!
While we're on the topic - her Amharic! When we first got home we were having a lot of scheduling difficulties with finding a tutor - mostly because most of the Ethio-American students are from the Twin Cities (2 1/2 hours away) and it was the summer. But once school started up again we were able to get into a set schedule - Thursdays from 5-7 pm. I was so afraid that though she could still understand everything in Amharic - we listen to music, videos, watch a school program, etc, she began not being able to communicate in it. She would be surprised that I knew words in Amharic and she no longer could think of it spontaneously. We regularly turned English books into Amharic "object" books, and there were days when she couldn't think of colors (even her favorite color, GREEN!) in Amharic. I thought my fear had been realized when, after her first lesson, Beamlak didn't speak any Amharic to her. However! by the second week's lesson she began to remember more and more and by the third she spoke almost the entire 2 hours in Amharic! I was BEYOND ecstatic! It's working! All the time spent listening to Amharic and making sure it was in the background of conversations and having her listen to it going to sleep paid off :) I'm SO excited for her and she's having a lot of fun with it. The only "requirement" for the lesson is that they spend the time communicating in Amharic. They can do anything while doing so, playing at the playground, cooking, reading stories, it doesn't matter, they just spend time talking. In a few years, it is my hope that she will begin to learn the Fidel but certainly not until she can be confident in English. I'm just SO happy! Yippie!
I suppose - I could now write forever, but then that would mean I would have 30 days to fill with nonsense :) I'll finish up for now with just a few...
Current Beamlak favorites:
Her little kisses in the morning as she crawls into bed to say, "good morning" and BIG kisses I get at bedtime
The kisses she never forgets as she's "running" out of the car to catch the bus
Her confidence in our daily routines
The way she still jumps into my arms when we're on our way upstairs for bedtime
How she will ask every night how many books we get to read tonight and be disappointed the one night a week it is only 1
quote: "Mom, tickl-ish me!"
quote: "Mom! You tickl-ish me!!"
quote: "Mom! tickl-ish me okay?"
I hope she always says it this way, I just can't bring myself to help her out with this one :)
6 months today...wow... amazing!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Amazing First Day...
To the Rest of Our Lives
I was just looking at old photos and I came across this one - the first photo I ever took of Beamlak. I remember staring at this photo on my computer in Addis over and over again just looking into those eyes. Those eyes that state - I certainly haven't lost hope, I love my life - it's all I've ever known, but I've experienced a lot, now, how can we have some fun?
Staring and staring into those eyes knowing everything that I wanted to be able to provide her- never thinking that I actually could. Somehow, against many odds, we're a family! And I simply can't convey just how much she continues to amaze me through her faultless, light-hearted, optimism; her courage; her impeccible wit even with limited English; her sincerity and genuine kindheartedness; and everything she continues to excel and struggle with - it truly is amazing just how amazing she is and that somehow tomorrow it will be possible to love her even more. But I know it'll be possible as she slips under the covers, half awake tomorrow morning, and cuddles her little face into mine to sleep for a few more minutes.
Monday, June 1, 2009
There Is No Me Without You
Amazing how the little things in life just stick with you.
Friday I closed on our new house! I'm officially a homeowner! First-time homeowner. It's been a bit crazy to say the least but I am definitely excited - and so is little B. We (my parents, Beamlak and I) started moving things in on Friday night and then began tackling some more on Sunday. I'm in no rush at this point - trying to keep the transition as smooth and as gradual as I can. Sunday, as my parents had returned to their house to get some things of mine out of storage Beamlak and I were taking things out of boxes. As I have "moved" about 9-11 times in the last 5 years (yeah I didn't realize how huge that number was until I had to write it down at my closing) my boxes are quite chaotic and some boxes have no rhyme or reason for how they were assembled. I decided to tackle the boxes I had placed in my "office" because it's near the built-in bookselves I was excited to fill as it is one of my favorite characteristics of the house.
I opened the first box hoping to find some books - there was one. I took it out. My first thought was, "Yeah! I get to put my first book in my bookshelf!" I walked over and placed it in the top left corner, looked at its binding, and there it was - "There Is No Me Without You." I stopped, shook my head in disbelief. Amazing. All I could think of was how true those words were in that moment. How real that moment was. I just stood there for a minute or two just trying to grasp my life and the direction it has taken since I met Beamlak. Then I heard what I would love to say was the "pitter, pattering of little feet," but was much more like a crashing of a chair down the wooden stairs as Beamlak ran down from her new room - "Mom! Come!" There were important things to see - her assembly of her stuffed animals in her new walk-in closet, her arrangement of Spongebob towels (yes she loves Spongebob and thanks Laura for the funny gift in University, found them in a random box), and her new mirror that I ectched back in high school that she thinks is the coolest thing.
Friday I closed on our new house! I'm officially a homeowner! First-time homeowner. It's been a bit crazy to say the least but I am definitely excited - and so is little B. We (my parents, Beamlak and I) started moving things in on Friday night and then began tackling some more on Sunday. I'm in no rush at this point - trying to keep the transition as smooth and as gradual as I can. Sunday, as my parents had returned to their house to get some things of mine out of storage Beamlak and I were taking things out of boxes. As I have "moved" about 9-11 times in the last 5 years (yeah I didn't realize how huge that number was until I had to write it down at my closing) my boxes are quite chaotic and some boxes have no rhyme or reason for how they were assembled. I decided to tackle the boxes I had placed in my "office" because it's near the built-in bookselves I was excited to fill as it is one of my favorite characteristics of the house.
I opened the first box hoping to find some books - there was one. I took it out. My first thought was, "Yeah! I get to put my first book in my bookshelf!" I walked over and placed it in the top left corner, looked at its binding, and there it was - "There Is No Me Without You." I stopped, shook my head in disbelief. Amazing. All I could think of was how true those words were in that moment. How real that moment was. I just stood there for a minute or two just trying to grasp my life and the direction it has taken since I met Beamlak. Then I heard what I would love to say was the "pitter, pattering of little feet," but was much more like a crashing of a chair down the wooden stairs as Beamlak ran down from her new room - "Mom! Come!" There were important things to see - her assembly of her stuffed animals in her new walk-in closet, her arrangement of Spongebob towels (yes she loves Spongebob and thanks Laura for the funny gift in University, found them in a random box), and her new mirror that I ectched back in high school that she thinks is the coolest thing.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
"MOM" it's official and enduring
Okay so I just have to share... I have a million things to say but I've been sitting hear looking at the pictures on my blog and I have nothing. No words. Amazing how that works :)
But I do have to share - okay - so I've officially been a mom for just two months and becoming an "official mom" was amazing, but having the words coming from your daughter and her finally understanding what it means - priceless.
Though she started sporadically calling me mom in Ethiopia it wasn't consistent. It was probably confusing more than anything. We stayed in a small one house compound with a family - a mother and her 5 children. All the children of course called their mom, "mom" and Beamlak also began calling her mom because she didn't know her name.
After coming home to Minnesota she began calling me Bettina again. Sure it didn't feel the greatest when she would call my name, instead of "mom," though it was still sweet. However, I never pushed the issue as I didn't want her calling me mom just because I was telling her that she should. I couldn't imagine everything is she has been going through the past few weeks and I certainly wasn't going to increase her anxiety for my comfort.
Several days ago we taped a bunch of photos up in her room that she took with her friends at Kechene and before we went to bed we said, "I love you" to each and everyone one of them and to all the people we love in Ethiopia which led us to a discussion about her Ethiopian mom. I started talking about her Ethiopian mom and how we both have two moms and that its okay to have two moms and love two moms. She acknowledged that she understood (I was speaking in my horrible Amharic of course). I tucked her in, said I love you very very much to her and her teddy bear and that was our night.
The following morning we were looking at the photos again as we had just called the family we stayed with in Ethiopia. I started again by saying how much we love them all (the family and her friends) and also her Ethiopian mom. She looked at me and said, "Yes" in reply to my statement that we both have two moms.
Friday morning we had just gotten in the car to go to school and as always I turned on some Gossaye music and as Beamlak was arranging herself in her carseat I put the car into drive so I could get out of the parellel parking spot I was in and then it came, "MOM!" with a big smile on her face as I looked into the rearview mirror, I turned around, she was looking at me and shaking her head and said, "You silly," with the seatbelt still in her hand.
I have to say, that certainly is my favorite word, but a close second is the phrase, "My crazy."
But I do have to share - okay - so I've officially been a mom for just two months and becoming an "official mom" was amazing, but having the words coming from your daughter and her finally understanding what it means - priceless.
Though she started sporadically calling me mom in Ethiopia it wasn't consistent. It was probably confusing more than anything. We stayed in a small one house compound with a family - a mother and her 5 children. All the children of course called their mom, "mom" and Beamlak also began calling her mom because she didn't know her name.
After coming home to Minnesota she began calling me Bettina again. Sure it didn't feel the greatest when she would call my name, instead of "mom," though it was still sweet. However, I never pushed the issue as I didn't want her calling me mom just because I was telling her that she should. I couldn't imagine everything is she has been going through the past few weeks and I certainly wasn't going to increase her anxiety for my comfort.
Several days ago we taped a bunch of photos up in her room that she took with her friends at Kechene and before we went to bed we said, "I love you" to each and everyone one of them and to all the people we love in Ethiopia which led us to a discussion about her Ethiopian mom. I started talking about her Ethiopian mom and how we both have two moms and that its okay to have two moms and love two moms. She acknowledged that she understood (I was speaking in my horrible Amharic of course). I tucked her in, said I love you very very much to her and her teddy bear and that was our night.
The following morning we were looking at the photos again as we had just called the family we stayed with in Ethiopia. I started again by saying how much we love them all (the family and her friends) and also her Ethiopian mom. She looked at me and said, "Yes" in reply to my statement that we both have two moms.
Friday morning we had just gotten in the car to go to school and as always I turned on some Gossaye music and as Beamlak was arranging herself in her carseat I put the car into drive so I could get out of the parellel parking spot I was in and then it came, "MOM!" with a big smile on her face as I looked into the rearview mirror, I turned around, she was looking at me and shaking her head and said, "You silly," with the seatbelt still in her hand.
I have to say, that certainly is my favorite word, but a close second is the phrase, "My crazy."
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