HIV testing

So what is it like waiting for an HIV test? For myself, I have yet to find out. However, waiting for the results of Bamluck, a 6 year old girl I have grown to love is unbearable.

I am now alone waiting for the results. Positive or negative? I am sick at the thought that she may be positive. Today, in fact only about 1 hour ago I learned of Bamluck's history, I have been told two other versions so I requested to see her file. Bamluck was brought to Kechene at two months old. She was born at Mother Theresa's, a hospice in Addis that cares for people living with AIDS that are near death. The staff determined that her mother would be unable to care for her any longer and therefore sent her to Kechene. Did her mother die? We don't know, but I will find out.

Consequently, as Bamluck's mother had AIDS during her pregnancy and following birth, Bamluck has a 25% chance of being HIV+ as all children born of HIV+ mothers are. Most of these children die before their 2nd birthday. Very few, less than 5 percent, survive past their 5th birthday without treatment.

Bamluck's file is filled with requests for hospital visits. Lukas (the children's home Director) says she has been sick for nearly 2 years. However, he is confident that she will test negative, as am I, but the fear of possiblity is overwhelming.

I continue to write because I won't be able to compose myself if I stop. Everyone around me is chatting away though HIV testing is just another test. But for me...

What will I do? And how long is 20 minutes?