Difficulty Posting?

Continuation from last night...

It's true you guessed it - I have difficulty posting every day. I've had difficulty posting even once a month so a daily obligation has been an eye opener! It surely isn't because I don't think there are things worth posting about - there are more than ever. I have difficulty having conversations about everyday things in person let alone on a blog. In order for me to blog, I need to feel that there is something important to say. Something that I need to release. A lot has happened in the last 6 months that I would consider IMPORTANT and certainly worth sharing and releasing, but I've sat at this computer many a times unable to adequately put into words and type what it is I want to share. I realize that my words will never be perfect but I think I am finally able to verbalize (if this is understood that is) that all these important, beautiful, frustrating, enlightening, awe striking and routine experiences are intrinsically connected to raw emotions that still affect my daily life - past experiences that shape daily experiences. It's a difficult place to get to - to voluntarily re-insert myself in a life, a day, a vision, a memory that truly isn't one because it lives with me everyday. This often simply leads to frustration in the incapacity of oneself (myself) to take that step that I always want (realize is necessary) to take - to make a (what often seems to be impossible) change in one's life. When I look back on a situation that should not have been what it was 3 years ago when I visited and yet still is 3 years later.
This is when my thoughts begin to jumble even more because there are so many circumstances (lives) that could be changed with (what appears to be) so little. I look back and though there is a lot of beauty, the frustration often takes charge of every rational cell in my body.
The lives of so many continue to be shaped and changed daily. The images that I see are beautiful. Then I am continually overcome by those whose circumstances have remained the same - deteriorated further into an abyss that no one can rationally calculate due to the sheer magnitude it encompasses.
The last six months have served as a sort of rehab - a sabbatical from my intellectual (highly introverted) activism that I don't know I'm ready to come out of just yet. I feel like I'm finally moving in a positive direction toward the person (and professional) that I want to become. The person that I know has the strength to make the change within to direct change that will make an impact. An impact, that, in the end, I can be proud to be a part of. I'm not there yet. But I'm certainly on my way.