I'd like a side of normal please

The BBC News / Alert Espresso (your daily shot of humanitarian news) reads for the day:

--189 massacred in church by LRA rebels (Uganda), those dead are mostly women and children (DRC)
--6,000 children are believed to be fighting in Darfur as rebel combatants
--Election Orphans: Rebuilding their lives after the Kenya election
--Ebola virus breaks out in the DRC
--Zimbabwe malnutrition rises

...Zimbabwe cholera deaths increase by 2/3 in December
...6,500 children are believed to be domestic slaves in Addis Ababa
...and the news continues

I swear I wonder how I wake up every morning just to read the day's headlines that disgust me every day. One day last week, when I originally meant to write this entry I just about wanted to jump on a plane and make my way through the DRC to Goma in the northeastern region of the country and declare an all out war (mind you verbally) on the rebels who have just recently kidnapped more children into their ranks as child soldiers and sex slaves. Yes, I realize that I would have done nothing productive at all. I probably would not have assisted a single child and perhaps killed myself in the process, but I seriously just DO NOT get how these horrific events can occur on a daily basis and certainly do not understand how the world is comfortable sitting back enjoying their daily lives as 10,000 children needlessly die every single day.

Do I have fun? Absolutely. Do I enjoy my life? Sure, Absolutely, Sometimes. But my mind is also almost always on these events occurring everyday. I WISH I WERE "NORMAL." I wish I could have a regular every day conversation about meaningless things without having my mind drift to, "I should really be reading up on child sex slavery," or "child domestic servitude." And don't get my wrong, I find everyday things important but I have a very difficult time prioritizing them.

What did you do on Christmas Day? Well I spent time with my family during the morning and the afternoon and then I went home and enjoyed a great manual on how to assist child victims of slavery - it's usually a great conversation starter. Right.

Or perhaps what did you do on Sunday? Well I slept in, because I was too depressed to get out of bed (hmm... daily headlines perhaps?) and then I went and spent the afternoon at Barnes and Noble trying to finally put on paper the proposal for a non-profit in Ethiopia that will provide emergency shelter, formal foster care and rehabilitation for trafficked girls, but I just couldn't get my mind around all the thousands of pages of research I have read on the topic - and as always - felt like I really didn't know what I was talking about and instead decided to read another hundred pages on how to assist child victims of slavery. Good times. And again, really gets a conversation started.

I'm hoping for the day when I can just relax and say, "this is my life and I'm going to stop fighting so hard and just enjoy it." but then again, that's not really me. I wish I got myself more so I could really understand why I fight so hard for something that seems so unattainable... Or at least understand myself enough to know which fight it is I have to fight so I can begin accomplishing something real.

... And that's the vent for today folks.

(This post is not meant to minimize the hard work of others, this is just me, venting so please do not take offense)

In Pictures: Red Hot in Ethiopia

Visit the link below for a little lesson on Berbere! Yummy! I may just have to make some Ethiopian soon!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7777842.stm

FILE FOUND!!!!!!!!!

From Jessica, my worker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I spoke with Belay just briefly today and he said your file has been found!!! Very good news. I will follow up with him next week to see if he knows when and if MOWA will be sending your case to court with the note like they had said before. As soon as I have that information I will let you know. I just wanted to let you know that the file has indeed been found.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Speechless! I can only cut and paste at the moment!

Bright Side - I have a new court date

Alright so the mystery continues. I received a call from my worker today as she wanted to update me on the situation.

Update - File is still no where to be found. (Big Sigh)

Even better news - This has never happened to Gladney before.

And the best news of all - if the file is not found and MoWA or the judge request new "originals" we're looking at a several months delay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously!

And so the questions came poring out:

1. Is this a stall tactic? Singles have recently been limited in adopting from Ethiopia (whole separate issue) and I wanted to know if this is affecting the "supposedly lost" file. Jessica and Belay are confident it is not affecting the adoption as they have had 2 single moms adopt since this new policy began last month.

2. Are originals documents required? No one knows, because a file has never been lost! They don't know how MoWA or the judge will react if the file remains lost. The documents that are included in Beamlak's dossier are her original birth certificate, family history, etc. If the file is truly lost, there is A LOT of work required to acquire "new originals" and Jessica didn't rule out a several months delay.

3. So what about another court date? I have been given another date: January 14, 2008. This date is just so devastating to me because Beamlak turns 7 January 25th and I was hopeful to at least be able to celebrate her birthday together. Even if we were able to get approved it would be extremely difficult to get there by the 25th, but I may just stop at nothing to be there.

4. What happens if the documents still are not found by the next court date? Belay will attend the court date, find out what will be required - will they allow copies to be submitted (he has) or will they require new originals. I CAN'T find this out until this court date if the file does not show up! Meaning the court date is a complete loss and I'll be assigned another one 1-2 months later!

I guess I'll just have to remain hopeful that they'll find the d*** file. I'm so disappointed right now.

Please just let me return to Ethiopia...

And the Waiting Continues

No, we didn't pass court Nov 28. Everything at court went very well and everything is taken care of expect one thing: Beamlak's dossier file. It has been lost. That's right, lost.

I was so grateful that Jessica, my social worker, called to tell me our status on Nov 28, even though she was out of the office for the holiday. I had prepared myself for another delay in bringing Beamlak home - but it's still no fun of course. When Jessica called she stated that everything is complete in court EXCEPT the review of Beamlak's dossier as MOWA (The Ministry of Women's Affairs) had forgotten to forward her file to the court. We talked about MOWA and it's offices as I have met with the Minister and other officials there - talking about where the files might be held, etc. It's particularly scary because I know that no official has a computer at the Ministry, so everything is in hard copy and nothing would be saved somewhere on a computer.

It wasn't until Tuesday that I received the news that it was officially lost and my worker informed me:

"...as of today, your file has still not been located. He said MOWA is doing everything they can to locate it. I will continue to follow up with Belay and as soon as I know more, I will let you know. He was out of town today, but will be going to MOWA to check about this during the week this week."

And so the wait continues. If/when they find the file there are two possible avenues:

1. The judge will approve the adoption without having to schedule another court date because the error was on the side of MOWA not the agency.

OR

2. I will have to be given another court date and the opinion will be given there. (Earlist is in January)

I'm hoping for OPTION 1 but Jessica says that they are becoming more strict on giving opinions without an official court date, so we'll have to wait and see. What stinks is that until they file is found/recreated I won't know which option I'm waiting for and therefore cannot get a court date.

Oh the drama continues. It doesn't look like I'll be spending the American Christmas in Ethiopia, but I'm going to be hopeful that I can celebrate Timkat and Christmas in January with Beamlak!

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers!
Bettina

Phone Conversation

I love hearing that little voice come over the phone, "Hello? (pause) Hello?" And as soon as I hear that little girl on the other line, everything, (the year long wait, the struggles in making this all work, and even the despair of leaving her) all fades away. The conversation isn't long - but it's just so comforting to hear her voice and to hear her ask questions in Amharic and being able to reply and hopefully bring a little comfort to her that, yes, I haven't forgotten about her. Yes, I do still love her and miss her dearly. And yes, I do care about how her day goes and what keeps her busy all day.

I hadn't spoken to Bamlak for, gosh, many months. Maeza's cell phone was no longer working and there wasn't any other way to gain contact with Bamlak until her phone was working again. Maeza answered her phone after only 2 rings and knew immediately that it was me. She picked up and asked, "Bettina-yay?" "Yes, Maeza! Indaynesh?" A laugh came over the line, as it always does when I speak Amharic and then I heard her telling the girls next to hear to go and get Bamlak, immediately.

She spoke for only a few moments to let me know how school was going (very well, but difficult, and she's still LOVING it), and then Bamlak was there. We only had a few exchanges as she was having difficulty with the delay in the phone but we were at least able to say I love you and miss you to each other. Maeza came back on the line and said, "What do you want to know about Bamlak? Ask me anything" She is so sweet!

So I found out the following:
1. Bamlak went to the doctor last week for an eye problem, but she is doing well now.
2. Bamlak hates going to school everyday and begs Maeza to stay at Kechene all day so she can play. Bamlak won't say why she hates school, but Maeza thinks it's just because it's not a very good school and that she continues to learn the same things over and over again because they (all children her age) are put in the same class for 3 years. My first reaction was to ask if the teachers hit her but she replied no. Maeza gave me reassurance that they do not hit the kids at Kibebetsehay, they just aren't very good teachers.
3. Maeza continues to take care of Bamlak, in fact she was the one to take her to the hospital for her eyes. I love this girl!
4. Maeza continues to talk about me everyday and reassures her that I will return. Again, I'm so grateful for Maeza.

Hopefully, my next conversation with Bamlak will be next week and I can call her to say, "Hunnie, I'm coming in x many days. Maeza has x many pieces of candy in a jar. You can have one each day. When the jar is emtpy I'll be bringing you home forever!" (She loves the "one piece of candy" game, we did it every time I had to go out of the country for work or out of town for more than a couple days, with the except of this return to the US) Wow!! This is all so surreal that she really could be coming home so soon. I say "home so soon" because it truly seems to be happening! For real! Wow!

So surreal. So exciting. So nervous. So happy. So grateful.

PROUD MOMMY

I got the following update from Jessica at Gladney:

"Belay said he saw Beamlak yesterday and said she was all
dressed up to go to the airport to meet the Head of
State that was arriving to hand out flowers.  He said she
looked very beautiful and that is why she was chosen to
do it.  He also said she was on TV!!  I thought that was neat.
It sounds like she is doing very well and I'm getting
very exciting for you as your court date approaches."

That's my girl :)  I wish I could get photos and the video
footage of the presentation, what a wonderful memory
for her to have!  She has presented flowers to Heads of
State in the past as well and Nesredin tried to get the
footage from the Government-run media company but was
unsuccessful, I'll have to beg him to try again :)

One week!  Court is in ONE WEEK AND ONE DAY!  I have a feeling
I won't be notified of anything until Dec though because
Friday is a holiday, but gosh!  Finally...  it's just amazing
to think back to a year ago, having just recently returned
from Ethiopia I was completely devastated and though I wanted
her home so badly, I couldn't even function. It took everything
to get out of bed in the morning and I admit, it's still a
struggle some days.  But she is SO close to coming home forever! 
Just keep moving!

Wow!  I still am not thinking straight.  One week and one day...
One year ago, I began this journey knowing that there was only
a slim chance that I would be able to bring her home, and
we've gotten so close!  It still amazes me.

Above is a picture I received along with the update. 
Bamlak looks so much like her first mom in the photo it
is amazing!  It was the first thing I noticed, besides
just how beautiful and healthy she is of course :) 
I am eternally grateful to Roza and Maeza (two girls at
Kechene) for caring for Bamlak over the last year. 
Almost every photo I receive Bamlak has her hair done
and oiled up, her skin is no longer dry and she
looks like she is finally putting on a little weight
(even though she is only 42 lbs still).  But she's now
3 ft 6 in, which is just amazing to me!  She's growing
up so fast.

I am very blessed.