Thankfulness

Beamlak was busy cleaning her room this afternoon. I went upstairs to put her down for her nap that we had agreed upon because we were out late for a birthday party last night. She leads me into her room and says, "Look mom!" And above was what I saw! It was so precious. I told her just how much I love her as well and asked how she knew how to write that sentence, her immediate reply was, "I sound it out Mom!" All the more impressive!

This is just one of many reasons why I am so thankful today!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Children's Museum Adventure

Beamlak, Auntie Gelato (aka Krissy) and I visited the Children's Museum on Sunday after a great lunch at Fasika - just a few photos to share :)

Yay! for funny turtle faces

Krissy - looking a little too YoGabbaGabba happy-ish ;)

Practicing the fine art of Yoga while working hard. WAY past YoGabbaGabba happiness!

Assembling the ingredients for an awesome Tibs and Tamati and Ruse dinner :)

The preparations... it tasted wonderful!

"Mom, I'm trying to do something, why you taking my picture." Okay so she didn't say that but I know that's what she was thinking.

I loved that you had the option to actually paint your own face at the Museum so we decided on the "true" Ethiopian Flag :)

Girls and their silliness - never enough silliness with Krissy :) Never a dull moment!

Just a Few Photos

From our bed time routine...
Showing all the pearly whites (that aren't missing) :)
Wow!!!

Not so sure about this photo thing...
Well, if you insist :) This may be my new favorite photo!

Survivorship Award

Tah Dah! I win! Today I had a serious "Case of the Mondays." Today was a day I simply made it through - going through the motions more or less. I had nothing else to give.

Bed at 12:30 ish?
Woke at 5am to get on the road
Wake Beamlak at 5:45 am for the road trip to Minneapolis
Drive 2 1/2 hours
One hour work meeting - very exciting actually but I was too stunned and out of it to celebrate (I'm going to Colombia?! in three weeks???!!!)
1/2 hour POINTLESS post placement meeting
Lunch with colleagues
Return drive home with a stop at McDonalds so B could play a little
20 minutes nap
Grandma's Bday party
Beamlak's swim lesson
Beamlak finally in bed at 8:30pm

Seriously - today was a tiring day for me - perhaps I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed :)

I think what made it so exhausting was that the reason for the trip (post placement visit for B) was truly more disappointing that I had even anticipated. (Those who have adopted will understand), I do not get how a social worker can make it the the entire visit without asking a single question? Seriously! I just ended up spewing out a summary because I would honestly just sit there and wait for her to ask a question and she simply WOULD NOT! Instead she was captivated by Beamlak playing with the toys and repeating, "She just looks like she's doing so well." Well, YEAH! She's alive, you can tell that, congrats! Yep she can speak English and likes to play. Is that all that you were planning on putting in the report? Seriously!! I knew that it would be a joke seeing that the same worker had completed my home study and first post placement visit, but this was truly unbelievable.

The only good that came of it is that they are forwarding the report directly to Gladney with photos for Beamlak's Ethiopian mom and her friends (and the Director) at Kechene. That's about it. I sadly let this appointment dominate my day. That's it. I'm going to try and read a good book and go to bed before midnight :) Goodnight!

Disclaimer: the only reason I used this agency is because I also work as an Intl Adoption Coordinator for a LSSMN (thus couldn't have my colleagues complete my adoption) and I couldn't work with another reputable MN agency because they had an Ethiopia program and I would have had to use them as a placing agency which was impossible because they didn't work with Kechene.

Difficulty Posting?

Continuation from last night...

It's true you guessed it - I have difficulty posting every day. I've had difficulty posting even once a month so a daily obligation has been an eye opener! It surely isn't because I don't think there are things worth posting about - there are more than ever. I have difficulty having conversations about everyday things in person let alone on a blog. In order for me to blog, I need to feel that there is something important to say. Something that I need to release. A lot has happened in the last 6 months that I would consider IMPORTANT and certainly worth sharing and releasing, but I've sat at this computer many a times unable to adequately put into words and type what it is I want to share. I realize that my words will never be perfect but I think I am finally able to verbalize (if this is understood that is) that all these important, beautiful, frustrating, enlightening, awe striking and routine experiences are intrinsically connected to raw emotions that still affect my daily life - past experiences that shape daily experiences. It's a difficult place to get to - to voluntarily re-insert myself in a life, a day, a vision, a memory that truly isn't one because it lives with me everyday. This often simply leads to frustration in the incapacity of oneself (myself) to take that step that I always want (realize is necessary) to take - to make a (what often seems to be impossible) change in one's life. When I look back on a situation that should not have been what it was 3 years ago when I visited and yet still is 3 years later.
This is when my thoughts begin to jumble even more because there are so many circumstances (lives) that could be changed with (what appears to be) so little. I look back and though there is a lot of beauty, the frustration often takes charge of every rational cell in my body.
The lives of so many continue to be shaped and changed daily. The images that I see are beautiful. Then I am continually overcome by those whose circumstances have remained the same - deteriorated further into an abyss that no one can rationally calculate due to the sheer magnitude it encompasses.
The last six months have served as a sort of rehab - a sabbatical from my intellectual (highly introverted) activism that I don't know I'm ready to come out of just yet. I feel like I'm finally moving in a positive direction toward the person (and professional) that I want to become. The person that I know has the strength to make the change within to direct change that will make an impact. An impact, that, in the end, I can be proud to be a part of. I'm not there yet. But I'm certainly on my way.

Ethiopia - 3 years?!

Beautiful children outside a restaurant near the Posta Bait somewhere between the Ambassador and Sheraton

Street/Vulnerable children awaiting their first of two meals provided by Hope Enterprises on Church Hill

Just to the right of the photo above was this beautiful little girl taking in the chaos outside her walls. Unlike most kids who either come dashing toward you or run away giggling this little girl just stood

I love this picture, it was taken inside the feeding shelter while the children were waiting for their turn to get their meals

Eyerus and I. This little darling dared not leave my side at the shelter. This is one of many faces I will never forget. It's amazing how one little face can begin a powerful change within -how much you can learn from a preschooler while she's just going through her day. Did I change her life? Absolutely not. She certainly changed mine.

Children in line for their meal

Just taking in the kids and soaking up their love. I served as entertainment. Little Eyerus - right there on my lap.

The two youngest boys of a child-headed household. They are in magnificent shape compared to their caretakers - their two older brothers 10 and 11 years old. The four of them are below.

My first visit to Kibebetsehay - I love that little guy's mischievous smile :)
Darlings also at Kibebetsehay

First visit to Kechene, first photo I took of my daughter. I didn't get to meet her that day. I didn't get to meet any of the kids at Kechene my first visit. It certainly is amazing how often I look back at this photo though.

I do promise (sincerely) I will follow up with this tomorrow.

The photos above are of my first trip to Ethiopia in August 2006. I'm in awe that it has only been 3 years that I lived my life with Ethiopia playing such a central role in my life. And yet in shock that it has already been 3 years since I took my first photo of my daughter.

This life that I have has been blessed - in a way that I cannot fully understand at present. It's an amazing life.

Wordless Wednesday

I was SO excited to post the pictures here and then realized that the photos are on my work computer :( I'll make up for the post tomorrow. This daily blogging is intense ;)