My dossier has been in Ethiopia since the end of June or the very beginning of July. I have yet to receive her referral - which is extremely frustrating seeing that this has been in process since July of last year when the first steps were completed to investigate whether or not she was a legal orphan (Beamluk's file was nearly empty when I first contacted the director of the orphanage even though she has lived there since she was 2 months old). Until the medical checks, everything that had taken place in Ethiopia for Beamluk was investigated by either me or my friend so it seems as though the agency is finally getting the ball rolling. I still have no idea when I'll receive my referral but I'm hoping to get in contact with another in country staff member next week that I know well.
Some not so great news is that Beamluk will not be admitted into Gladney foster care. I started this battle before I left Ethiopia in October 2007 - to push for her acceptance into their care which provides a safe, loving environment for the children including a private school education and field trips. Let's just say, I thought I had finally won the battle last week, but the Director of the orphanage has changed his mind yet again that she will need to stay at the orphanage until I arrive in country. Somehow I am remaining optimist that the process is finally nearing it's end and I'm just trying to keep my spirits up!
I'm also busy trying to re-prepare myself to finally become a mommy! When this journey first began I researched for hours on end trying to prepare myself to be the best mommy I could be - a first time parent to a then 5 year old little princess. I eventually had to set this aside for sanity's sake. It was something that I couldn't think about on a regular basis - day by day and month by month - I needed to continue to try and live my life and complete the official process. I thought and continue to think about her constantly but I have guarded my heart due to continued disappoint in the process and constant frustration that she is in Ethiopia and I am in Minnesota.
I'm slowing coming to terms that she is now nearly 7 years old and I'm grieving the losses of missed years (before we met) and months away from her since we first met - it is all a process. But it feels like I'm moving forward. I'm revisiting the bookstores and reading up on parenting school age children, institutionalized children, traumatized children who have experienced great loss in their life, and the list continues. It's becoming more real again every day that an end is possible - it still is unknown how all the cards may be dealt, but the end of this process is FINALLY nearing and regardless of the outcome I'm going to be there for my daughter.
Below are photos that I received earlier this week from Rachael who was finally united with her daughter, Amira!! Congratulations!!
P.S. I told Rachael I was concerned that she had lost that hopefulness she had always possessed as there were no real smiles in any of the photos but Rachael assured me that after a few minutes Beamluk remembered who she was (she volunteered in October 2007) and she was back to her normal joyful self :)
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